it's been a while. here's my update

hey y'all. so i've been MIA for quite some time. i apologize. i've been surprisingly busy, but i'm not sure with what.

some of y'all know, but if you don't, nate and i decided it was best not to date anymore. and i like to put it that way because "broke up" sounds too hurtful. we both felt that it wasn't going to work out with us in the future. and neither of us knew why. just a feeling we both received. and i'm glad that both of us felt that way. i actually felt it a couple weeks ago, but i kept denying it because it HAD to work out! nate was my first serious bf and, at the time, i didn't see myself ever dating anyone else again. i wanted him to be THE ONE because it took me so long to find someone like him and to actually feel comfortable/good about dating anyone for that matter. and i felt really good about dating him. but the Lord was telling me, and him, otherwise. it was time. but there was a purpose for dating nate. i'm still learning about those reasons. and i am really glad we dated. i learned a lot. i don't think i could have said that a week ago when i thought my whole world was over. but now i have agreed with God's will. and i know that i went through that experience so that i can help someone with a similar or same situation. how could i have helped my future daughter, or a good friend, with their first "break up" if i never went through one myself? and nate has taught me a lot about being a kind and hard working person. i haven't met anyone as determined, passionate, and sincere as him. and it's in his own unique way. he has inspired me. and since we've been "seperated", it's been better with us. we have chatted online about random things, and i think we were meant to be good friends in the first place. i don't know. maybe it's bad that we keep in touch. at first it was hard still being in contact with him, but i feel more settled about it all. granted, it's only been a week, but i'm one to hurry up and get through a new stage in life so that it's not so painful or stressful for so long. and there's been some humbling to realize that God knows what is best for me. sorry if y'all already knew these concepts and principles; they're all new to me.

so i wanted this to be more of sharing my thoughts about life. very vague i know. i'm in a world religion class and i learned that part of Taoism is a principle called wu-wei; which means "non-doing" or "no action." at first i thought it was someone being lazy and expecting everything to happen on their own. but its allowing life to take its course. and its a "non-doing" of things that are not in line with how things are supposed to happen. if we force something or try to fix it, we are being prideful, and the OPPOSITE of what is supposed to happen happens and it causes more grief and untimeliness.
"just as no amount of stirring can clear a pool of muddy water - the pond must be left alone to clear itself - so men and nations must be free to follow the natural course of events without excitement or undue agitation."

i think that is all i have to say about that matter. i am grateful for what i am blessed with. i am honored to have great friends who are concern about me and help me with experiences they've had. sorry this kinda turned into a sappy and cheesy testimony, but it's all true. so take and learn what you'd like.

last 2 cents - "the spirit cannot dwell in unholy temples." repentance cleanses so that we can receive the promptings of the spirit.